BareBack Mountain
by Miss Miasma
Summary: Ray doesn't want to fish the rest of his life. A funny romance tale! Rated for language and future romps in the mountain. LOL
1. Something Fishy

Bare-Back Mountain

Disclaimer: I do not own any of Natsume's glorious work, Harvest Moon: Magical Melodies.

* * *

Prologue:

I cast my line, hearing the satisfying _thunk _of the bobber hitting the calm lake waters. Stewing in my misery, I reminisced a better time, a safer place, an era when fishing wasn't my life, when my world had nothing to do with muck brought from the bottom of a lake.

I wanted something more to this life. A something I once held in my hand, a something I had once tasted, sweeter than fishing and twice as fulfilling.

The line grew taught and I reeled in my catch slowly. All of a sudden, the line snagged and a dark shadow swam off, back into the black murk. I pulled up my pole, feeling as empty as the hook dangling at the end.

* * *

Chapter One:

I was fishing. Always fishing. The winds picked up and the world was calm, life was singing an amazing tune as nature chattered about the new season. Oncoming rain filled the air with sweetness. I smiled and began to hum an old fisherman's song about life on the sea.

Grinning, I pulled in a carp, its rusty scales glistening from the cool waters from which it had been pulled. The fish was heavy in my experienced hands._38 pounds... no... 40..._I laughed at his unwillingness to lie still in my firm grip. "You're a new fish... Let's see... what to name you?" I turned the fish around in my hands, its mouth gasping for air, eyes bulging. _He's got about seven minutes. Maybe more._ "How about... hrm... my, aren't we difficult to find a name for..." Deciding against naming this special fish, I placed it back into the rushing waters. It flipped its tail, crystal waters splashing up and falling onto the dried earth. The milky-whiteness that was the fish's underbelly glided along the bottom of the rocky river, the muck sliding easily off its underside. Then, it leapt, throwing its writhing body into the air in a sparkling array of water. Catching a fly in its mouth, it plunged back down into the mesmerizing waters, its tail flipping about behind it.

"This... is why I fish." I propped the pole onto my shoulder and wiped off a small trickle of sweat. The sun was setting in the oncoming twilight. "Time to head to the Moon." I walked slowly down towards the town, making my way to the Moonlight Café.

* * *

"Hey Ray." Eve sat across from me, her dark eyes glinting in the low lighting. Her golden bangles shimmered as she shuffled a deck of cards nimbly.

"Evenin' Eve." I said peaceably. I took another bite of my sashimi, which I had previously been simply shuffling around my plate with my chopsticks.

"You aren't eating much..." Her brow furrowed. "Listen, Ray... you... you know you always..." The deck was being shuffled rapidly now.

"Always what." I snapped back, placing my chopsticks down and wiping my mouth. I knew the answer.

"You always have..." She trailed off, her eyes showed how hurt she was by my attitude but honestly, I didn't care.

"Listen Eve, you're a really great person. But honestly, I just... I'm not..." I struggled with my words. _Damn, girls are confusing! _"I'm gonna go fishing..." I managed to grumble, standing up and shoving money onto the table. "See ya."

"Bye..." I didn't turn to see those eyes. They weren't meant for me. I knew she liked Dan... maybe she was just trying to make me feel better? _With free friend sex? _I kicked a stone as I walked, hearing it skitter across the path. The air outside was much cooler than the air in the Café. I sighed, feeling absolutely melancholy. I didn't want to fish.

I stopped in mid-step. _What was that?_

I. Didn't. Want. To. Fish.

I blinked, stopping in mid-thought.

"Hey Ray?"

"Eve- I told you!- Oh." Upon spinning around, I discovered my follower was not in fact Eve as I had thought, but a much quieter character. My eyes softened. "Sorry Maria..."

"It's alright Ray." We stood in silence, her chestnut eyes lowered to the pavement, my own sky-blue eyes staring at the heavens.

"I-" We had both spoken at the same time. She blushed and I frowned.

"No you go first." She insisted, looking into my eyes.

"I just wanted to say... uh..." _Shit. What was I going to say? _"Bye." I paused. _She'll probably need an explanation._ "I'm going... up to the mountains."

"Not to fish again?" _Damn fishing. Damn girls. Damn puberty!_

"No actually." _Smooth. What an award winning explanation. Well done._ I mentally slapped myself.

"..." Silence. _Ah... something I could work with!_ I nodded and continued up the path, never once looking back.

* * *

I slept staring up at the sky. That night, a dream flooded my mind.

_"Ray... kiss me..." Eve leaned over my body, stunning pink eyes seeing into my soul. _

_"I want you so badly, Ray." Maria was working her lips against my neck. I groaned. _

_"Hey fisherman." Gwen straddled me, loose hair falling over her crimson eyes. My body was on fire, my mind screaming out._

"JESUS!" I sat up. _Aww shit, I had fallen asleep on a damn rock again._ I rubbed my head, a small bump already swelling on the back of my skull. No straddling, horny girls rubbing themselves against my body.

"Hey, uh... you ok?"

"Oh great... I'm seeing stars..." I moaned. First naked chicks, now the American flag. _Damn those girls._

"Actually... that might be the bandana." Joe smiled and pulled me up. "Why are you sleeping on the mountain?" _Damn. I was asleep on the mountain._ Another mental slap.

"Uh... no reason actually. Just... sleeping on the mountain." _Never have been a magician with words. _"Why are you here?"

"Tuesday." He shrugged. _Yeah, that was awfully clear._

"Can we pretend you're Captain States-the-Obvious?"

"It's my day off."

"More obvious."

"I'm fishing."

"There we go." I rubbed my head, looking down at my feet. Joe laughed and I blushed, feeling really dumb.

"So you're good at fishing right?" I shrugged.

"Maybe." _Best god-damned fisher in the free world and you know it._

"Can you give me a few pointers?" _Can I?_

"Maybe when I'm not seeing stars." _Sure I can. Problem is, don't want to._

"What do you got against the 'dana, man?" I stared. Then I got the joke. If it was a joke.

"Oh! No, I really am dizzy." I laughed and he actually joined in. I've never actually shared a proper laugh with people. More of the silent type. Yet here I was. But soon, silence descended again like an eagle swooping down to eat baby rats.

"Well, I'll see ya then." I brushed myself off and straightened my clothes out.

"Right." He nodded and slung the pole from his back to his front, fishing ready.

I walked away, feeling gloomy, and still not wanting to do much fishing at all.


	2. Fatal Eve

Bare-Back Mountain

* * *

Chapter Two:

I leaned against a Mora trunk, the cool shade engulfing me. _Spring just makes things horny._ _Just spring, that's all it is._ I clenched my eyes shut against the world and thought of Maria. She was cute. Really... really... I felt myself blush. A book nerd! That's what she was! I picked up a stick and threw it across the river.

"Ah! What the hell?" Basil's head bobbed into sight, rubbing his forehead, brow furrowed in deep frustration. I sunk down, wishing I really hadn't done that.

"Ray! I saw that!" _Fuck._

"Sorry!" I called back, frowning. _Great..._ I flopped onto my back, staring up into the thick branches, leaves clustered around each other. _Maybe Eve's offer wasn't too far off the mark. I mean-_

The train of thought quickly derailed itself from that destination.

_Sex with friends is out of the question!_

I walked around the town lazily for a while. I saw Katie standing outside. _Why does she always stand outside the shop? What's she looking at? Who's she waiting for?_ I saw Nina picking a flower and looking at it sadly. _Why's she sad? Maybe she really wants to plant flowers instead of those ugly cabbages?_ I saw Jamie staring out into the sea, her face wrought with anger. _Why's she always upset? Is she a she?_

Another train that abruptly derailed.

I sighed, trying my honest-to-goodness hardest to keep my thoughts away from Eve. And Maria. And Gwen. And girls straddling other things.

Yet these thoughts really weren't bothering me as I thought they would. Nina bent low to pick a strawberry, then brought it close to her lips, forest green eyes closing with pleasure at the taste.

Yet this didn't really turn me on.

_Panicking! Panic panic panic!_

Ok, maybe I _would_ talk to Eve later.

* * *

Later: 

I ran up to the Café, hoping to god it was open. I glanced at the clock through the window. _An hour to opening._ Frustrated, I sat, taking in my surroundings. If what I had planned worked, I'd be screwed.

If it didn't...

Well, I didn't want to think about that to be honest.

I retied my ponytail, then readjusted my belt. After glancing around several times, I took it upon myself to check my scent.

_Whoa, ok that's a bit bad. No time for washing up though. Five minutes..._

I hate waiting. I'm great at waiting when I'm just pulling up a fish. But this... I was intimidated, to say the least.

"C'mon... open..." I felt jittering and awake, my nerves pulsating throughout, sending me on edge. "C'mon!"

"What?" I looked up. Duke was standing over me, a large frown printed on his slightly weathered face.

"Err... just couldn't wait to uh... have some sashimi." I mumbled, pulling myself up. _What would he think if he knew about his niece? Would he appreciate the fact that she wanted about every other guy here?_ Mentally rolling my eyes, I followed the owner inside.

* * *

"Eve, I have to talk to you." I made my eyes match a perfectly begging puppy. She laughed. 

"Feeling better?"

"Not in the least." I smiled, my confidence lifted.

"Well, spit it out. I do love an interesting story." _Oh it's interesting. _My confidence ran into a small hole and thoroughly buried itself. _So much for that._

"Well... uh... you know your... uh... offer?" I stammered quickly through my words, face redder than a ripe beet.

"Offer?" _Dammit. Damn girls. Damn damn damn. She's looking amazing tonight-_ I yanked my thoughts away from Eve, who was now leaning far over the table, plump cleavage peeking through her white-ruffled shirt.

"Offer." I replied firmly. _Free sex? Ring a bell?_ She was blushing.

"Ray... I... gave away that offer. Um..." She looked down at the table, nervously scratching away at a small pockmark. "Dan and I-" she cleared her throat. "Hit it off last night."

"Slut." She smiled, still unsure of my take on this entire thing. _I wasn't joking._

_Slut._

"Ray, you always understand."

"You did say 'always' though..."

"But that was before-!" I frowned, shaking my head. She looked at me in near disbelief.

"I really need you right now though." _Whoa. That came out way too fast and way to honest. _

She blushed deeper, her cheeks matching Gwen's gaze. "I..." She considered it. I saw her eyes searching out an answer. Her finger scratched harder on the little pockmark, making it bigger and bigger. "Ok." She whispered, pulling my hand towards hers. "Upstairs."

She led me up and away, her hand clutching mine tightly.

* * *

"Ray... you don't know how much I've wanted you." 

"But..." _You like Dan. But hell! It was a compliment! I could live with this. _"Listen. You've got to know why I'm asking this of you, Eve." She nodded, pink eyes wide. "I..." she took a deep breath to steady herself for my news. _This is where the 'interesting story' comes in._ "I want to do this because I don't..." I trailed off, blushing. _I'm so nervous._ "I don't know... about my... feelings..." I gulped. _That was vague enough. _My heart was clenching into itself.

"Ray! Ray, this is, this is one-night only! I'm so sorry if I led you on! But... I'm with Dan now!" Her eyes were filled with a confusing understanding, eyes searching mine in pity.

_She doesn't get it._ But I nodded and she let out a breath of air. It seems we had come to an understanding. _One night. That's all I needed anyway. _"Are you ready?" My turn. I nodded. "If you want to stop, just..." I nodded again, cutting her off. "Ok." She untied her wrap-around skirt, flicking off her high-heels as she did. _Nothing yet._ She looked at me through her lashes. I blushed but felt no surge of emotion. _C'mon..._ Sweat dripped down the nape of my neck. She pulled off her shirt.

There she stood, in tall, curvy glory. White lace hugged those dazzling curves. She untied her ribbon, letting silky spirals of golden threads fall over her face, curling around her white-laced chest. _Still nothing. Shit. Shit shit shit._ "Ready...?" She whispered. I nodded.

My best friend was stripping for me. Odd thought... couldn't shake it. Felt like I was going to... _throw up._ And that's what I did. Right on her bed. Right on her clothes. On the floor. I threw up.

_Holy shit. Holy fucking shit._ Eve blushed and started crying. Just crying. "Am I that ugly, Ray?" _Gorgeous!_ I wanted to say. _For a girl._

"Holy shit." I moaned. "I'm gay."


	3. Summer Winds

Bare-Back Mountain

* * *

Chapter Three:

I sat in disbelief, sat next to my best friend Eve. We sat on a cleaned bed, a cleaned floor, and Eve was newly dressed in fuzzy pink slippers and a long shirt.

"I'm sorry I misunderstood you, Ray." I shook my head. I could feel tears well in my eyes. _Damn puberty. _"Really Ray, it's ok..." I felt her hand make contact with my back, slowly moving up and down in a gentle, rubbing motion. "It's ok, really..." She said weakly. I didn't even know if I was gay. Maybe I had eaten raw fish... or, or maybe I was just nervous. A tear trickled down my cheek and gulped down a lump in my throat. "Will you talk to me?" Her magenta eyes were raised in a fearful manner, her brow deeply lined with worry. Her soft hand was rubbing my back, underneath my shirt. She rocked back and forth with me. "Ok... so you don't want to talk." I shook my head. I felt sick again, my stomach taught and angry, my muscles tense. _This was too much. This can't work. Can't happen._ I trembled under this new information, under her touch. _Damn genes. I knew something was wrong with my dad._ I sniffed, a small laugh surfacing. A tiny, crazed laugh.

"I'm sorry, Evie." I whispered, using her nickname and leaning into her perfumed skin. Her hand found the back of my head and we fell, flopping onto the bed together.

"So... what are you going to do..?" I laughed quietly, a small, sick laugh.

"What would you fuckin' do if you found out you were attracted to the opposite sex." I meant it as sarcasm but I swear to god, she actually considered it.

"Well... probably get lai-"

"Eve I'm serious!" I shouted, looking disheveled and weak. "I don't want to be gay!"

"Then don't." She whispered back, her hand on my face. Those eyes met mine again. Those alluring, loving eyes. Those horny slut eyes! I snapped my eyes shut and turned away from her. "Ray..." She moaned. "I'm sorry! You know I didn't mean it like that! Ray!" She pulled my shoulder, wanting me to face her. I tugged away from her grip.

"Leave me alone." I sounded like a child. A brooding, homosexual child. Then I heard her laugh. "Bitch." This made her laugh harder.

"You're the one acting like a bitch, drama queen." She shot back.

"You little slut!" I sat up on my knees, grabbing a pillow. _Oh shit. I am a bitch. A pillow-fighting, guy-horny, bitch._ She grinned and grabbed a pillow. "I'm not going to hit-" That fuckin' bitch just whomped me over the head with a pillow! "You _bitch!_" I breathed. She giggled and again, the pillow zinged through the air.

A successful block and she got what was coming to her.

* * *

We stood on the bridge, staring into the sullen water, a dreary rain misting around us.

"Eve... You know I have to leave."

"Leave? What the- why?"

"I don't know." I sighed. "I just... I have to. "I leaned over the bridge, wanting sympathy but not like this.

"Please don't leave! You're my best friend! Please?" Those pleading pink eyes. I sighed. _Who can resist Eve?_

"I don't want to be gay." I said firmly. Then I leaned down. I closed my eyes. And our lips met. Eve's pink eyes shot open and her mouth softened to my touch. She made a small 'mm' sound, confused, then slowly worked into my kiss. _I'm kissing Eve._ I pulled away, my eyes lowering.

"You're still gay...?" She murmured.

"I don't know, Evie." I leaned over the bridge again as she placed her hand on my shoulder.

"I really wish you weren't." Her eyes were clouded with pain and for once, I swear I don't think she was thinking about Dan. Not now. Not after that.

"I don't know, ok?" I shook my head. "I don't know..."

* * *

"Rainy days suck, huh?" Joe threw his line out towards the dock's edge, a long cast. I admired it for a moment, then cast my own out, just falling a few feet farther than his.

"I win."

"Damn." I sighed, slowly winding in the line. He concentrated, furrowing his brow as if to lead the fish toward him. "Hey Ray, you know that the Fireworks festival's coming up soon?" I nodded. "I mean, you're kinda new here, traveling around." I nodded again, pulling my line in a little further. "I'm probably going with Katie. You thinkin' of asking Eve? I mean... you were kissing on the bridge and all..." At this point, my concentration broke.

"Eve? No. We're just friends." Joe laughed, nudging me.

"Oh I get'cha! Eh?" He raised one eye brow and made a rude gesture with his hands. I blushed crimson.

"No! It- it's not like that!"

"Oh no? Then what is it like? This?" Another rude gesture, this time with a little bit of sound effects.

"JOE! What the-?" I glanced around. No one was around but still- this was embarrassing! "Man, quit it!" My frown broke and a laugh escaped. "You suck!" I shoved him, who pushed back.

"Boning Eve- man that's luck!"

"I'm- not- boning- EVE!" I said, finally taking one final shove. He fell back, a "WHOA!" crying out from between his lips, a surprise expression written across his face. He grabbed my belt, bringing me down along with him. We landed in the water, choking and sputtering.

"Sorry man."

"Naw it's fine." I shook myself off, standing up. "I'm soaked!"

"You needed some cooling off, horny bastard." He laughed and I shoved him again, not quite so hard as to land in the water once more.

* * *

"Saw you flirtin' with Joe." I blushed. Eve saw everything. I sighed, looking down at the newly polished tables, my own melancholy expression facing me.

"I wasn't flirting..." I mumbled in misery. "Listen: I really don't think I'm gay. Maybe I was just sick! It was... a fluke- that's all. I can't be gay! I'm just... nothing. I don't like girls or guys. I'm a..." I stopped to think of the word.

"Anti-bi-sexual?"

"No... I think that means 'against bi-sexuals'."

"Oh... then... uh..." We both thought hard.

"You guys look constipated." Duke remarked from behind the counter. At this Eve broke into a fit of giggles and I smirked sheepishly.

"Maybe I'm just nothing." I sighed and leaned back in my chair. "How're you and Dan coming along?" I took a sip of warm lemonade.

"He's amazing in bed." I choked, sputtering on the sour juice. She reddened and laughed softly. "Well he is..." I smiled and shook my head, taking another, considerably smaller sip.

"Has he asked you to the Fireworks Festival?"

"No." I took a deep breath.

"Do you think he's going to?"

"What are you implying, Ray?" She tossed a loose piece of hair out of her face with a flick.

"I don't know." I leaned on my knuckles, elbows on the table. "Just wondering."

"Oh..." She took a deep breath and leaned further back on the chair, which groaned in protest. "You could always go with Joe." At this she laughed.

"Cold bitch." I stood up and left, shaking my head and looking for Maria.

* * *

Maria would have to wait, as Theodore just entered the library. Theodore despised me. Ray, the hobo, the fisherman who didn't buy a single plot of land and mooched off fellow businesses by making friends with the owners. _I'm river muck to that man._ I sighed and slumped onto a bench in the main square. I could hear the distant ocean waves lapping against the shore. A swift breeze came up, the scent of summer clinging to the wind. _Summer._ _Fireworks festival. Girless again._ I laid down on the bench, staring up at the crystalline sky, clouds suspended in a sea of blue. _Think about it... the blue summer sky so beautiful it gained its own name because it was so indescribable. Sky blue._ I breathed deep the air, my mind clearing. _If I had a color named after me, I wonder what it'd be? _Thinking of nothing, I closed my eyes, satisfied with the world yet still confused about my potential life partner.

_I'll visit Maria tomorrow._ My eyes remained shut on the sky blue world, the wooly clouds thickening and thinning out with the changing of the air pressure, the grass bowing to the lightest breath. I sighed and sunk into a peaceful sleep, no thoughts disturbing my deep relaxation.


	4. Three Days

Bare-Back Mountain

* * *

Chapter Four: 

Maria was lazily skimming the pages of a thick text, laying on her stomach under a large tree and enjoying a luscious green apple. She hummed quietly, flipped a page, and once again her eyes flicked across the lettering, lighting up with amusement or squinting in a skeptical look. Her eyebrows leaned down against her eyes, making them appear small. As she flipped each page, a long strand of dark hair fell over her eyes which was quickly tucked once more behind her ear.

I approached slowly, unsure of how to begin. Finally, I took a deep breath and stepped under the shade of the grand tree, her concentration remaining unbroken.

"Ahem..." I cleared my throat. Apparently the book wasn't all that interesting, otherwise her coffee colored eyes wouldn't have glanced up at my oncoming, yet slow, tread. "Err...I-hi Maria."

"Oh. Hey Ray." She took another bite of her apple and looked down at the book once more. Her eyes skimmed quickly across the last paragraph. "Wait a moment... There!" She slapped down the cover triumphantly. "Now I can make fun of those ridiculous notions on the difference in salt concentration in certain lower towns of the deserts and how the water level variants differ greatly between one town from another, even though they're within miles of one another!"

I stared. "Um..." Maria blushed and giggled, sitting up and placing the finished apple next to her so as to dispose of later. She pulled the fat book up against her chest, the rose-color fading from her cheeks.

"So what can I do for you?" Embarrassed, I glanced at my feet.

"Do you know about the uh... the Fireworks Festival?" She laughed. At first I felt relieved_. She's making this easy_! Then, a second opinion_: Too easy_. I frowned and she stopped laughing, noting my distress.

"I'm sorry Ray! It's just, 'Do you know the Fireworks Festival?'" She giggled and tried to calm herself, a smile printed on her small face. "My father's only been going on about it for a month now! I personally can't wait for the silly frivolity to be done with. Although I do suppose it's important for a town to hold such days dear to them, as to remind them of their own worth..." She trailed off, lost in her thoughts. I frowned again_. She's getting a bit on my nerves actually. I love how she's herself- the book nerd that she is... but honestly! I haven't got a clue what she's talking about half the time_... I sighed and she returned to Flower Bud Village, or rather to Earth in general. "Oh! Sorry- got lost there. What were you saying? About the Festival, I mean." _Back to business. Oh crap_. My stomach had just fallen down to my toes where it firmly lodged itself, creating a heavy feeling in my feet but a black hole where it used to reside_. Ok, deep breaths_.

But it came out way too fast. "WillyougototheFestivalwithme?" She scrunched up her face in confusion.

"What?" I gulped down a lump in my throat and took a deep breath, eyes concentrating on hers like a deer caught in headlights.

"Will (breath) you go (breath) to the uh... (don't hesitate!) Festivalwithme?" Her scrunched up face wrought in confusion now went further into itself, raising an eyebrow, mouth opening. Her lips moved silently so as to process what I had said. She seemingly understood when the cloud cleared from her eyes and her face smoothed out, eyes widening.

"Oh!" She smiled. "You want to take me to the Festival?" She was smiling_. Smiling was good. Or... or did they always smile before they gunned you down? Oh crap. I'm screwed! Or is screwed a good thing? Shit_. I nodded weakly, fearing the worst. She laughed_. Not good. Code red! Code red! Abandon ship!_ I was about to slink away embarrassed when she made a small sound so as to clear her throat. Then she cocked her head, as if to think_. Thinking's bad. If she needs to think about it then- no wait. It's good? _My mind stumbled blindly in its confusion, searching for an answer. "I'd like that."_ Processing... where's the goddamn answer? Light switch? Flashlight? Anything!_ Then: Reality.

"Really?" My eyes grew wide in disbelief_. Wait- cool, smooth... right_... "Great. Uh... see you then."_ Super smooth!_ I walked calmly away, tripping halfway over a loosened root in the dirt as I went. Despite the near fatal blow to my ego, I had to admit, I had been smooth.

* * *

"You asked _Maria_?" 

"Don't sound so excited for me." I rolled my eyes at Eve, who was leaning on the bridge, elbows supporting her. I was facing her, leaning in the same fashion on my own side. "I mean, what's wrong with Maria? She's... intelligible." _Translation: She's smarter than you._

"Hey! Like I'm not?" Eve looked hurt but I knew she thought I hadn't meant to say that on purpose. (FYI: I had) and then smiled. "So you aren't gay anymore?" _Translation: So we can have sweet hot sex, right?_

I shook my head. "Eve... I honestly don't know." _Translation: I honestly don't know... but wouldn't have sex with you if I did._ She turned, looking into the water. I came up behind her and saw her shoulders stiffen. I sighed, leaning over the bridge next to her. "How're you and Dan?"

"Just peachy." She replied coldly. _Translation: We had sweet hot sex but I don't want to tell you about it because you might get a stiffy thinking about me. Or Dan. Can't be sure._

"Aww Evie, don't be mad at me! I'm just... confused right now. I'm not sure about anything, that's all. Look-" I took a deep breath. "It's not like I chose to be this way... if I am this way. I mean..." _Translation: I haven't got a clue. Honestly, don't look at me for this translation. Seriously rambling here._ I shrugged and her eyes softened, a small smile tugging up the corners of her mouth.

"Ray- you are too gay for words. "She gave me small shove but her resolve broke and a smile lit across her face.

"Am not!" I replied indignantly. But I was smiling as well. We both sighed simultaneously. "Jinx." I said. "You owe me a soda."

"Sighs don't count and you know it."

"I know. I just wanted a free soda."

* * *

I looked at the Café's calendar, a small little piece of paper that sat on Duke's desk so as to remind him when to close. _Firework's Festival... three days from now._ I grimaced without knowing why. I could be grimacing because I was looking forward to it and three days seems much longer when you're filled with anticipation. I could also be grimacing because let's face it, when you're dreading something, it flies at you full force. Three days wasn't a lot but it could also be a lifetime. _So which is it? Damned if I know anything anymore._

I scanned the quiet Café, noting all the people inside. Blue sat, staring glumly downward, shifting his food all around his plate but not touching it. Eve leaned over the counter, silent and refined. Duke was chatting animatedly with Woody and Hank, who both clutched sodas and were laughing or nodding there head along with what was being said. Then there was me, facing my usual helping of sashimi and doing nothing. Not pouting, not cleaning or attending to anything or anyone, not eating. Just sitting. I was the hopeless hobo of the town, a laughingstock, a nobody.

If I hadn't been pouting before, I sure was now. My expression mirrored Blue's as I sat and stared down at my plate, wondering what the three days to pass would hold in store for me.


	5. Big Oopsie

Bare-Back Mountain

* * *

Chapter Five: 

It was fate. I was as gay as Al. I was gayer than Al. I was- _fucked._

_I was lying on my back, staring up through the leaves, when Joe had come by. He had smiled and waved, then sat down next to me. We talked about frivolous things, laughing and being... well... guys. _

_That's when it happened. A strong wind came by and we had been pushing each other, rough-housing, you know? Yeah... I accidentally, (take it how you will), touched... him... and then... and then..._

I blushed. "I GOT A FUCKIN' BONER!" Thank god there was only Eve and I in this small room. Her serious face cracked and she erupted in a fit of giggles.

"What did you do? You homo!" She laughed outrageously, so loudly it was almost fake.

"What do you mean, 'what did I do'? I fuckin' high-tailed it out of there! God dammit Eve, why are you laughing?"

"I- giggle giggle- I'm s-sorry... it's just-" She wiped a tear away from her eye, still laughing as hard as ever. "Just imaging it!" She was laughing harder, clutching her stomach, tears rolling from her eyes. "You got jacked because of Joe!"

"Alright, what'd I miss?"

His voice cut through the air, Eve's laughter stopping suddenly as I gasped.

Joe stood before us. He didn't seemed irritated at all, not shocked, he certainly wasn't green or puking. So...

"Errr... what?"

"What did I miss? I mean, you just belted off. Are you ok?"

Eve shoved me. I realized I had been staring straight at Joe with a look of utter deer-in-headlights. "Um... good time to _answer your frickin' love Ray! _Ray?" She was whispering, nudging me.

"Don't nudge so hard!" The room was silent as a graveyard. My face was red as hell and Joe's eyes were a look of pure intrigue.

"Uh... I wasn't... nudging you!" Eve smiled and laughed nervously, reddened then stood up. "I'm going to go and uh... bye!" _Thanks a bunch of Honey and Oats. Bitch._

"Uh... sorry I- errr... Got... diarrhea?" _Way too smooth. Smooth like diarrhea. Damn._ "I mean-" His eyes were shut tight, smile on his face, laughter making his shoulders shake. "HEY!" _He's laughing at me!_ "Sorry for running off on you! Wish I had done it sooner!"

"You're acting like a chick." I pouted. _Damn. Damn damn damn._ "You sure did act like one back there. "_I'd hate to meet the chick that got a boner over me. _

"No. I didn't." He laughed.

"Alright, alright." He put his hands up like he was under arrest. "Well anyway, you won't go spewing diarrhea at me if I ask you something, will you?" _I may puke. Handsome bastard._

"I'll think about it." I returned coldly.

"C'mon! I was kidding."

"I wasn't." I crossed my arms, staring him down.

"Well, I'll ask it anyway. Just try to contain yourself." He chuckled. "You have a date, right? For the Fireworks Festival?" _I don't if you don't want me to._

"Why?"

"I wanted to know if you wanted to go on a double date with us. You know, Katie and I?" _Damn._

"Yeah. Me and Maria are going." I took a deep breath, brushing back the loose strands of hair that had fallen over my eyes. "I guess I could..." I frowned. This is great. Just great.

"Awesome! I'll see ya there." _What, no exit joke? No burns? No taunts? What a bastard. _"That is- if you don't have diarrhea. See ya, _Ramona_." He winked and left, the bell above the door tinkling merrily, oblivious to the daily occurrences. _Be careful what you wish for. Damn._

* * *

"He asked you out?" 

"Quit teasing me! Of course he didn't. He's straight."

"Just like you, right?"

"Shut up!" My face reddened. Eve smiled coyly back at me, hair falling over her face in curls. "It's a double date. He's going with Katie."

"Oh, don't sound so miserable! You'll at least be _near_ him, right?" I frowned but nodded.

"Hey wait-! I still might not be gay though!" She laughed and I knew the situation was hopeless.

I was gayer than Big Gay Al.

Damn that hot bastard.

* * *

One more day. One more day and _poof_. I was going to the festival. I made a plan in my head. I was going to kiss and marry Maria and we would live happily ever after and have a billion straight kids and I'd be straight and happy and Joe and Katie would leave because they were jealous of our super happy straight life. Yep. That's the way it'd happen. 

One more day.

Then I'd be straight...

But for now...


	6. Naughty Naughty

Bare-Back Mountain

* * *

Chapter Six: 

I pulled out a trout and sat it down next to me, measuring it using only my eyes. _What... about... a foot? Foot and three inches...? _I was clearly losing my touch _and_ my mind because this particular trout (which was exactly 16.5 inches, unknown to me) was staring up at me, gasping for air, and silently whisper the word 'Joe'. That fish was promptly thrown back into the rushing waters as I stormed angrily away. Even the damn fish were against my being straight!  
Damn nature.

The night was calm. Less than a day. Twelve hours. Less than twelve hours. I sat back, lost in my own pathetic, homo-horny state, my mind just pulling in to Imagination Station. This was my stop.

_The festival's amazing, blah blah blah, I'm leaning in towards Joe- I mean, Maria... and she closes her eyes and we kiss long and passionately and I can feel his lips and I'm totally blushing... Wait... his? Oh dammit. Ok fine! It's my imagination- I'll do what I want. _

_Joe and I rolled in the fucking sand all night and you know what? I loved it. That is until the first firework started up and looked like an erection. The firework erection slammed into the moon, which cascaded into the sun, which blew fiery hot lava all over me and I ran around with people screaming "Flaming homo"._

DAMN IMAGINATION!

I sighed and collapsed onto my back. The sky was pretty despite thoughts of an oncoming Armageddon. I rolled onto my side and screamed.

"Wha-! Oh- I uh... sorry Ray!"

My heart broke into a billion and one pieces and scattered into the sky, becoming tiny stars, then crashing down to earth and landing in her smooth ringlets, her galaxy eyes. Those exact features that Joe held so dear.

Joe.

Katie and Joe.

They were behind the tree that I had lay dreaming in front of in my stupor. They had lay together, arms around each other. And I had discovered them, lips parted and met.

If my heart just hadn't broken, I'm sure it'd break again.

Joe was smiling, Katie had her hand on Joe's chest. Her smooth manicured nails, eyes on mine but soft lips tasting only of Joe.

If my heart wasn't shattered, I'm sure it would shatter once more.

"No... I-" I stood slowly, eyes locked on his. Russet met cobalt, his brown against my blue. Happy versus sad. Straight paralleling my own unsure self...

Whole against broken. Which would you choose?

"I..."

"Are you ok, Ray?" He chuckled softly, but now his eyes matched mine, not in color but in expression. Shocked confusion... reveling in their own misery.

I ran. I leapt across the world, feeling the earth beneath my thin soles.

* * *

"I'm not going to the festival and I'm not leaving your room!" I had barricaded myself in Eve's room. I hadn't the faintest idea why. It was past midnight, the bar was closed today, and I had simply flown past Eve and locked myself into her room. I know... the entire thing's unfair. Joe and Katie, Eve and her room. I grimaced, remembering our expedition into Eve's va-

"C'mon! Ray!" Her voice was pleading as she pounded against the door with flying fists. "You don't understand- you _have _to get out!"

That's when I heard it. A slight shuffle, a low breath against the wind. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I was laying on the bed, face down, but it was the first time I had realized-_there's someone in this room. And whoever... whatever- it is... is underneath the covers... and underneath me!_

I cried out, sitting up so suddenly my foot got caught. I flew backwards, falling sideways off the bed, my back hitting the floor.

"RAY GET OUT NOW!" _That's starting to sound like a really good idea!_ That's when I saw it. The covers, fallen to the floor and twisted around my ankle, revealed a man wearing nothing but a red bandana.

"YAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! Dan's eyes shot open and he reached frantically for a pillow, finding one, and firmly pressing it against himself. "WHAT THE HELL?" He sat fully up and I screamed, covering my eyes. "YOU'RE NOT EVE!" _No shit!_ In my mad sprint, I had forgotten the blankets around my ankle. Lunging forward, my head collided with the door.

"OOOF!" I turned to see Dan raising slowly up onto his knees, hand outstretched, worried look in his eyes. "AAAAH! GET AWAAAAY!" I stumbled but managed to get to my knees as I tugged open the door.

"RAY YOU DUMBASS!" A swift kick.

"Wooooo stars..."

"You think he saw-"

"HE WASN'T TALKING ABOUT THAT DAN!"

"Pwetty..." I was reaching toward imaginary fireflies, a dull ache pulsating throughout my upper thigh area. _That's going to seriously hurt later._ "Ooooh hooo hoo..."

"GET A FUCKIN' GRIP AND GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Eve kicked sharply and I rolled out the door happily exclaiming "It burns!" and waving good bye.

* * *

The next day was Festival day. I sat next to Eve in the shallow darkness of the Café, an icepack laying over my lap. 

"You suck." _Why the hell was she laughing? I saw her butt-naked boyfriend sleeping on the bed, got my balls kicked (and if my balls had balls, they would've been kicked too), and had run head-long into a door. _"Shut up!"

"I'm s-sorry... it's just s-so funny!" She covered her mouth as her small frame shook with laughter. I placed my chin on the heel of my hand, stewing in absolute depression. "Ok..." composing herself, she turned toward me, her hilarity fighting her straight face. "No seriously. I'm cool. What'd you come to tell me?" She stared at me through innocent eyes.

As if.

I took a deep breath, steadying myself for the story of discovering Joe and Katie entwined as lovers. Her eyes widened as I told my heart wrenching tale. Of course, the moment was destroyed as hilarity won and she burst into a fit of laughter.

"You _bitch!_" She continued to laugh. I crossed my arms in a pout, brow furrowing down on itself.

"O-ok I'm-" She sucked in a deep breath. "I'm better." She let out a quiet chuckle before falling silent. A moment of silence passed between us. Then, she spoke. "So you want to hear about how some crazed maniac ran into my room as I was taking a bathroom break from my sweet hot romp with Dan? Or would you prefer to hear about how Dan won't come back to the Café because he's afraid of said maniac?" _Ouch._ I smiled nervously before slowly getting up (taking care of my painful package) and slowly sliding out the door. She glared at me before I reddened, then ducked my head out of the door, shutting it firmly behind me. Ok, so I had messed up big time.

Oops?

Anyway, there was about four hours until the festival, and I hadn't seen hide nor hair of Maria or Joe. _The Festival._

What would I wear?


	7. Flaming Fireworks of Love?

Bare-Back Mountain

* * *

Chapter Seven: 

The air had a mystifying sense of dark misery. The night, although clear and seemingly happy, hid a looming beast that swirled and spun, tainting the world with its darkness. People flocked towards the beach in the arms of their beloved, be it father to daughter, husband to wife, or simple yet complex lovers. Either way, the tension of the world was distilled in the calm before the oncoming storm.

Yet silly me, I walked gaily (if you'll pardon the pun) onto the beach, casting longing gazes for my own beloved (cough JOE cough cough) but eyes finally falling on Maria, who smiled and waved excitedly.

"Hey Ray! Thanks for asking me to come." _But what the hell was that?_ A book lay on her lap. She brought a book on a date with me? _I've sunk way too low._ I sighed and feigned a smile.

"Hey. Where's Joe and Katie? Isn't this a double date?" She stared blankly at me. _Whoa I totally forgot to tell her, didn't I? Crap. No, mega crap. Mega crap in buckets._ I smiled nervously and waved my hand to dismiss the idea. "Never mind." I plopped down next to her._ Ahh, awkward silence._ "So... what are you reading?"

"Fertility Goddesses of the Ancient Indian Practices." _Eve and Dan?_ I couldn't help but blush and laugh out of nerves.

"Err... any good?" She nodded, eyes pulled into the tight scripts crammed onto each page. I sighed.

"Hey! Ray! Maria!" I turned to see a four-legged creature walking towards us, frantically waving. As the monster pulled into view I smiled and waved back as my heart ripped out its heart which ripped out its heart...

"Hi Joe!" I smiled. "Katie." (Nodded to Katie. Score one for me.) They held each other closely to create the illusion that they were joined at the hips. To my dismay, Katie seemed genuinely glad to see me.

"Hey Ray!" (Smile) "Maria." (Nod) ..._What the hell? _

"So anyway, they're about to start... mind if we sit?" Joe gestured at the empty spot next to me. _Yay._

"It is a double date after all." I smiled and patted where he had just gestured. _C'mon Joe, plop it. Take a load off. Meaning your pants._ I coughed and blushed my way into a 1 billion-watt grin (if there was such a thing).

My billion-watt grin burned out and cracked in half as Katie playfully sat down next to me, pulling Joe down along side her. _It's on bitch. I wasn't going to do anything to you, but now I'm not so sure._ As I mentally cursed Katie, whose hand went unnoticed to my ass, the first firework shot into the sky.

The giant massive erec- firework (ahem) arched into the sky and burst into a golden glory. That's when I noticed Katie's hand.

"WHAT THE HELL?" I stood up, onlookers murmuring and pointing.

"Hm? What's wrong Ray?" Joe peered around Katie, whose face was red and grimace wide. _Nothing my darling, except that your treacherous bitch just cheated on you! _She had slyly pulled away her hand, unnoticed by the utterly clueless Joe.

"I- I have to go." I frowned. Katie shifted her eyes away from mine, her face blushing crimson. _That was a point for you. But next time..._I mentally shook a fist as I stalked off the beach. I turned briefly to see Maria's reaction but her head was still buried in the book.

* * *

"My life is over. Totally and utterly over. O-V-E-R over." I slumped against a tree, still able to view the perfect fireworks of this deeply depressing night. They screamed and rose in the sky like angry phantoms against the onyx nighttime, illuminating the onlookers in various ghostly colors. I had never seen it that way _until that bitch planned my downfall by grabbing my ass._ Or maybe she cared for me? What was I? Food? Wait- you probably wouldn't grab a hamburger's ass. So what _was_ I? I drew up a mental list. 

Joe + Me equals HAPPY  
Maria + Me equals Maria not even noticing we got married.  
Katie + Me equals Katie dead in half a week after our marriage due to 'unknown causes' followed by an 'evil smirk'.  
Me myself and I equaled a lot of masturbation but pretty much not going anywhere.

I sighed, feeling misery gathering in every pore on my body. That is, until-

* * *

"Ray-!" He gasped as he caught his breath. "M-Maria told-" He held up a hand as if to pause the conversation, leaning over and breathing as deeply as his tired lungs would allow. "Sprinted- here..." He groaned and took more sharp breaths. "Ok- ok better!" He stood and took a deeper breath, slowly letting the air out. "Maria told me about Katie." He paused. "She's kind of weird... I mean she gave me a letter while she was still reading. How'd she even see that when I didn't-?" Seeing my highly unamused face, he continued. "Right right! Sorry! Man... Katie's kind of a..." _Bitch. Slut. Man-whore? It'd be totally cool if you said man-whore._ "...well she's flirtatious." He smiled and blushed. "I told her we needed a break and she kind of... of... ran off... crying..." He trailed off, staring down at his feet. 

"It's cool. I mean, she's yours." (curses) "You know what fireworks, I mean to say, things that happen and the girls but no- wait. I mean guys can sometimes be like when the sky's all dark and you're sitting..." _Whoa that made no sense at all._ His face stared at mine, confusion clouding his eyes.

"What the-?" He smiled and waved the jumbled words away. "Never mind. Dude," He sat down next to me. "You can be really strange sometimes." _Is strange good? Strange better be good. Wait- if I called someone strange, would that be good? Uh... we're going to say yes for now because I have a headache and this is totally making it worse._

"Sorry." I murmured, although not entirely sorry. I just wanted to leave. I wanted to turn my back away from Joe and just stand up and leave.

"No. It's cool. I just can't believe she would act like that. So now I'm dateless." He shrugged like it was a bad thing. "How about you? How's Maria?" I grimaced and he chuckled. "That bad?"

"Seven words. Fertility Goddesses of the Ancient Indian Practices." He stared back at me, once again confused. "Everything she does revolves around books! I can't be happy with that..." _Whoa... was that me being honest with myself? Ding ding ding, what do we have for him, Johnny! _My stomach pulled a loop as I mentally scratched Maria off the list. That left me with Katie, the ass-mooching little girl that would be accidentally killed half a week after my marriage with her, and Joe. _Yay. Sooo many options. Not._

"Well... yeah you've got a point. So... that's it then? You're not dating her?"

"To be honest," _I'm on a frickin' role!_ "I don't think we even _were_ dating. I mean... I asked her to go but she still wasn't all that excited or anything. She just kind of... I don't know... accepted it as a date and that was it."

"You're rambling." I nodded. "But you're right." He lay onto the grass, his own self a few feet away from me. I scooted over so the tree wasn't directly behind my back and lay down next to him, staring up at the once foreboding sky. The fireworks (once again flaming erections instead of angry specters) soared above us.

"They're really pret- cool."

"Hm? Oh... yeah." He smiled as his face was illuminated in purple.

"Actually, I mean..." _Whoa whoa, code red code red! Back up! Warning! SHUT YOUR MOUTH RAY! Hello? RAAAY?_ "I think that..." I turned my head towards his face, who looked questioningly back.

"What?"

"I think you're..." _STOP! WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING? _I gulped. "I think you're really cool." I blinked, surprised I hadn't thrown up or blurted out 'I love you' or something really weird like that. 'I think you're really cool.' That's not that bad. Not bad at all.

He smiled. A mental picture of me dancing around happily in a small cheerleading uniform swirled above my head shouting 'Gooooo Ray!' and at every 'Ray!' the tiny skirt flipped up. I was cute as a cheerleader.

"Thanks! You're cool too." That was that look of his, the one that said, 'what the-?' But I was smiling and so was he and dammit, that's all that mattered.

Awkward! Really awkward! It had grown silent between us as we stared at each other, face to face. I blushed and he blinked at me. "You're blushing." _Thank you Captain States the Fucking Obvious!_

"Errr... I'm a little hot." _I did not just say that._ "From running! I ran up here! That's why my face is red." I smiled and turned my head back up to the sky. I felt jittery all of a sudden, as though each nerve cell had drank eight cups of caffeinated coffee.

"Ray?"

"Hm?"

Uh oh. My head turned back to him to notice his own face was looking at me, had been looking at me. I blushed again, maddeningly red. "Uhh... what is it?"

His eyes searched mine and he took a breath

* * *

Ahahaa! Cliffhangers! My first one I think. I'm sorry! I just have to be evil. 

-Miss Miasma


	8. One Magical Melody

Bare-Back Mountain

* * *

Chapter Eight:

He took a deep breath. Sapphire against mahogany. Crimson blush to crimson blush. I took a deep breath. He paused.

"Ray... have you ever..." _I'm going to shit my pants. I'm going to crap everywhere and the diarrhea joke will come crashing down on me and Joe and I will drown in my own shit. _He took another deep breath. "Have you ever had sex..?" There seemed to be more to this, as though he hadn't finished his statement.

"Sex." I stared blankly back at him. _Guys asked other guys about their sex lives all the time, right? (Right?) So why had he seemed so nervous, just now? _

"Yeah. Sex. Have you ever... done it with...?"

"Who?"

A firework exploded in the sky and the deep night sky danced through the leaves in the trees, creating a _rush _sound, like a secret being whispered in the darkness.

I stared at him. _Why wasn't he answering? Wasn't this an easy question for any one to ask? Anyone to answer? _

I cut off my previous question with another. "Have _you_ ever had sex...?" He turned onto his back, eyes finally tearing away from mine.

"No." _YESSS score one for me! Katie might be a slut but she still hasn't won yet!_

"Me either." I smiled as though to reassure him. "Came close though." I laughed at the memory then immediately wished I hadn't brought it up. I blushed and grimaced, ripping my eyes from his face and mimicking his stare into the night.

"With Maria?" I could feel his eyes draw back to my own, almost like a young child pleading to hear his favored story. I couldn't help it. I glanced over to him (at least I had intended to.) The moment I did, we were back, staring at each other.

"No."

"Then..." He grew sullen and once again those orbs drifted off of mine reluctantly. "... with Eve." He said it so quietly and almost painfully. _Was this bothering him? _

"Yeah." I murmured back, staring at the same place he was, right on the small strip of grass that lie between us.

"But you came... close?" He asked as I smiled weakly, really wishing I hadn't spoken.

"Yes." _Let's not talk about this Joe. Hey! I got an idea! Blowjobs make every one shut up! _

"Oh." A silence deep as despair fell between us, landing on the soft grass and mocking us into conversation once more.

"But you haven't done it either?" He shook his head. "But-"

"No. Katie wouldn't do it with me." He had begun pulling at the strands of grass between us making the distance between us shrink.

"You wanted her to?" He looked up in confusion. _Oops. They were dating, you dumbass! Of course he wanted to!_ "I- I mean..."

"No. You're right. I really didn't want to uh... do it" _lose your virginity, Joe? _"with Katie." He sighed. "I don't think she really wanted to do it with me anyway though. She seemed kind of... playful... but that was about it." _It's ok. A kiss makes everything better! I know! We'll just make out! Problem solved._

Wishful thinking bites.

"So... why'd you ask?" _Way to be frank. Seriously, this honest thing is amazing. _He was surprised by this question but behind those cavernous crystalline eyes lay the truth. _He knew why he asked. He asked for a reason. But what was it, I wonder?_

"I... I was curious." _Oh geeze, if someone doesn't give me a frickin' blowjob I swear to god I'll do it myself._ I sighed at the same time he did and we both returned gazing at each other. "You know... it's weird but I feel like I can actually talk with you, Ray." He smiled and shut his eyes, humming a techno song.

"...I know this song!" I sat up and began to sing. He too sat up, singing the words along with me.

_"Cuz every time we touch, I get this feeling! And every time we kiss, I swear I can fly!" _We were singing together, badly mind you, but singing. Together.

_"Need you by my side..."_I trailed off as I realized he had stopped singing a while ago. I raised my eyes to meet his, and there we were, staring at each other again. I went from tickle-me-pink to the deepest shade of scarlet imaginable. His face copied the color and he bent his head.

"Ray...?"

"Joe." _I sounded so certain. Why was he questioning? Why did he ask my name? It wasn't my name I wanted to hear... I wanted to hear..._

_Blowjob!_ I laughed and he looked up in surprise.

"Ray?" I couldn't help it. I laughed again. This entire thing was utterly ridiculous. If I knew the song _Every Time We Touch_ and he did too, then it was fate. He was gay as hell but didn't know it, and hell, I was just gay. We were singing a love song to each other in the middle of night as we lay next to each other in the grass. If that doesn't shout homo I don't know what does.

"Joe. You're so gay." I said jokingly, making it sound as though it wasn't meant to be taken seriously, even though I kind of wish it would've been. But just kind of.

"You're the gay one!" He laughed and punched my arm.

"OH NO YOU DIDN'T!" I tackled him, punching his arm back.

"ACK! FAGGOT ATTACK!" I laughed as we rolled in the grass, kicking and screaming "FAGGOT ATTACK" in our raucous laughter. Rolling, kicking, punching, screaming, biting...

kissing...

My eyes shot open as I felt the shock of his lips against mine. I didn't want to pull away but had to in my surprise.

"Joe?" He frowned and blushed. "You are a homo!" I laughed and smiled. "And you know what, so am I!" _Faggot attack!_ I was down and he was further down. He rolled making me be underneath him instead. _Ah, so he likes to be on top? I can take it._ I laughed in delight, my heart full of bursting as brilliant fireworks dancing and erupted above our heads. The grass was soft, the night was cool, his lips were hot. I closed my eyes as he fell back next to me.

"Ray... was that real?" Another giggle from the Peanut Gallery. But I wanted to be poetic. I made my eyes meet his face, which was staring up at the sky, body taking in air in gulps.

"If it wasn't, then I shall sleep so deeply so as to dream it again." He turned toward me, eyes wide. Then he laughed hard.

"This is a dream! That was way too smooth to be Ray." He smiled and laughed as and pushed me away but I grabbed his wrist, my eyes shifting into a serious glare. He almost seemed frightened for a moment until I pulled him in for a long kiss.

_Ray: 3  
Katie: Zip._

_I win._ My cheerleading fantasy version of myself did a million back flips while shouting "F-A-double G-O-T! ATTACK!"

* * *

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII DIIIIIIIID IIIIIIT!" I shouted in a sing-song voice.

"You got laid?"

"Dammit, Eve! Do you have to guess the best news so that whatever my news is seems less important?"

"Unless you _did_ do it. Because then it'd still be good."

"Will you let me tell you what the hell happened?"

"Maria molested you and you got a boner which proves you're straight?"

"WAAAY off." I smirked at my hidden knowledge, ready to unveil the secret. "_Katie_ molested me and I got a boner when I molested Joe, proving I'm gay." I folded my arms across my chest and smiled triumphantly. "You weren't even cl-"

"YOU GOT IT ON WITH JOE? OH MY GOD RAY I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!" Eve bear-hugged me for a while, bouncing up and down and making me giddy with pleasure.

"Isn't it amazing! He's such a good kisser." I sighed and clasped my hands together, eyes shining and tears of happiness running down my face. "I could've died. DIED!" She smiled, then looked confused and slightly disgusted.

"Wait, Katie _molested_ you?"

* * *

Ray's Chibi-cheerleading self: I made up a cheer! But then I forgot it because Chibi-Joe distracted me with flowers. Oh, and I bought a new uniform! A school-girl outfit! Isn't it cute? (holds up outfit) I know, you don't have to say anything. Well, I just thought I'd fill you guys in on what happens next chapter! I say some cheers and look adorable in my ponytail and a skirt that matches my eyes. I also shave my legs to make the skirt look cuter! Oh, right! I'm supposed to be talking about Ray and the next chapter!

Silly me! Guess you'll have to wait then! (winks)


	9. Heart to Heart

Bare-Back Mountain

* * *

Chapter Nine: 

I sat underneath a Mora tree and felt like I was asleep. Awake, but asleep. I stared into the horizon, my eyes seeking no particular target, a dazed smile written haphazardly across my face.

He kissed me he kissed me! La la la la la, la!

"Ray…?" My blissful little La-La-Land-of-a-world snapped in two and I directed my attention to a small girl in a cutesy dress with her hair up in smooth but wild curls.

_Katie._

"Ray… can we talk?" She seemed very worried, as if a ten ton something or another was sitting on her mind, casting a dark shadow over her consciousness. I sighed and pretended I was mulling the thought of Katie, my arch enemy, talking with me. _Me!_ _Ha!_

"Sure." I mentally slapped myself. She did looked worried though and she smiled nervously, as though half the battle had been won. _Trust me, I put on a better fight then this! It's only round one, bitch!_ She sat down next to me, keeping a fair amount of distance from me and her hands on her lap.

Then she just sat.

In absolute silence.

I cleared my throat. "Um… you were saying?"

"Well…" She bit her lip. _Will you just tell me? _"I mean, I want to talk about… everything." _Ok, Joe and me, me and her, her and Joe, or all three? Or the world? Maria and I? Maria and Joe! YOU AND MARIA!_

My mind was weaving a really twisted tapestry I wanted to have no part of. I figured it'd shut my mind off if I did some talking.

"Who?" _Well… I've never been the talkative type._

She took in a deep breath as if to prepare herself. "I saw you and Joe." Her face immediately reddened. _Crap. Me and Joe… roughhousing? Singing? Kissing? Or rolling in wild passion on a thought-to-be deserted plane? Shit. None of those were really good to be caught doing (although number one was the best bet)._ "Is there something I should know?" Now she was staring at me, her eyes filled with a mix of anger and confusion. Her eyes bore into me and I cringed away like a scared, gay child.

"W-well… why didn't you ask Joe?"

"I did."

"And?"

"He wouldn't tell me." At this her throat caught on a rising lump and her eyes filled with pain. _Is the whore going to cry? _All of a sudden I felt really guilty. I mean, she could be flirtatious but that didn't make her bad. Did it? Here she is, actually trying to have a heart-to-heart with me. No flaming. No accusations (well, not really…). If Joe were kissing some other guy that I discovered on a random night, I'd be hurt too. And then, if he didn't tell me…

I saw the hurt in Katie's eyes and felt it in my own. She was feeling really bad and here I was… I shook my head.

"I'm sorry Katie." I said softly, avoiding her eyes.

"You have to tell me! What's going on?" She sounded a little more angry than before, which frightened me back into her glare. I was caught. She was staring straight down at me, searching my face as if the truth were buried there.

"Katie… I-" I took a deep breath and tore my eyes away. If I had to tell my story, there's no way I could do it while she was staring at me like that. No way. "Whatever you saw… you saw it."

"I saw you kissing!" She blurted out, her hands moving onto the soft grass in protest, fists balled tightly. I just nodded slowly. _Kissing? That's not too bad. Plus, I mean… we probably_ did_ put on a better show than the fireworks._ This made me grin which immediately made me sorry. "YOU SICK BASTARD!"

"No! I wasn't smiling because of that- just- ah!" She threw a stick at me! The bitch threw a stick at me! "Listen to me Katie!" I grabbed her wrists, which were raised above her head in an attempt to mash me into the ground. Tears clung to her lashes and confusion glistened in her eyes. "Joe and I _did_ kiss. I'm _not_ sorry about that. I'm sorry if I hurt you or whatever but…" I had no clue how to tell her this without blatantly stating it.

So I did.

"I think… no- I really like Joe. I don't know his feelings." The truth conked me on the head as I spoke the words I had secretly known, yet hadn't admitted to myself. "I don't know if that was one night or not. I don't know if he's straight still or what…" I trailed off, left in my thoughts. _Joe might not like me. That could've been those once in a lifetime moments… that could've been the end and I only thought it was the beginning._ I loosened my grip on her wrists, which slid from between my hands and fell limply into her lap, head bent.

"So that's it..?"

"That's it."

She stood, paused as if to say something, then ran off, leaving me under the Mora tree.

* * *

"Joe..?" I entered the wooded house, glancing around.  
"He's fishing." A cold voice answered my call. It was Kurt. Kurt had his shirt off, leaning over a piece of wood, sweat dripping down his forehead in rivulets. He sawed relentlessly, brow furrowed, grunting at times. I was mesmerized. I stood in the dark doorway, staring in at the low-lit sawdust-covered shop. 

"Fishing." I repeated blankly. He nodded and continued his work, not looking up again. _Does Joe work this hard? Does he concentrate and pour this much soul into everything? Does he?_ I walked slowly at the door, taking no glances backward, my eyes only seeking answers.


	10. A Little Frivolity

Bare-Back Mountain

* * *

Chapter Ten:

"Joe...?" Joe was sitting along the riverbank, a fishing pole lying next to him, line tangled. He wasn't particularly concentrating on anything, simply staring out at the glittering waters. "Joe? We need to talk..."

"Huh?" He turned, his concentration snapping in half, looking over his shoulder at me. "Oh. Ray..." He smiled but his eyes were the betrayal, telling (nay, confirming) my fears. I made a step toward him.

"Joe. What happened last night-"

"It was nothing. Heat of the moment." _More like heat in my pants. Moment? You're making our make-out session into a 'moment'! Oh HELL no!_

"Joe, c'mon! You can't say that!" _Aha, so Ray finally speaks his mind. _Chibi-cheerleading-me pumped its pom-pom fist into the air triumphantly.

Joe was silent, staring back at me. He took a deep breath to clear his mind, then spoke.

"You know what Ray... I didn't think it'd be that simple. When I kissed you..." He shook his head. "I was right. It isn't simple. It can't be simple."

"Well... why can't it? We both love fishing." I took another step toward Joe, lowering myself on the ground and curling my legs underneath myself. "We both like to have fun... I'm quiet, you're loud. It's... it's perfect." Joe looked like he was about to laugh. Or cry. Or both.

"We're guys, Ray! Dammit!" He kicked his foot into the water, disturbing its even course. "We can't. We _won't._"

"This is about me and you! Not genders, not Katie, not anyone or anything else." I lowered my eyes, feeling guilty. But he _had _kissed me first. It was his fault for being so... being so...!

"Damn sexy!" I finished my statement, completely unaware that I'd spoken out loud.

"Damn sexy?" He repeated blankly. "You think I'm damn sexy?" He grinned wide, laughing, and I relaxed. A moment of smiling silence passed between us before his grin finally dropped along with mine.

"Joe..." I whispered quietly.

"Hm..?"

"Why didn't you tell Katie?"

"...I don't know." He leaned back, dropping fully onto his backside, hands behind his head. "It just... wasn't any of her business. Plus, it's not like we're serious." His laugh turned sour.

"She had a right to know though... Joe?"

"Hm?"

"I don't know."

"Well neither do I." I knew I looked hurt. I couldn't help it. I _was_ hurt. He sighed and propped himself up on his elbows. "You homo. Don't you dare go soft on me." I laughed weakly and so did he until it ended up that both of us were laughing.

"I just don't think this _can_ be serious."

"And why not?"

He didn't answer though. He sat up, hand on his knee, staring into my eyes.

"Let's go climb the mountain."

"Wha-" He was kissing me. He was kissing me! _K-I-S-S-I-N-G!_ My chibi self died, reincarnated, then died again, going to heaven each time, doing a small happy dance all the way up.

I could definitely get used to this.

When he pulled away, out of breath, I was still staring into the distance, a happy grin planted on my face. "Okies let's go."

"Okies? "He laughed and shoved me away, running up the mountain in mad glee.

_Hey, the faster we go up there..._

_eh? Eh? We are going to do it... right?_ My chibi self was poking my ribs, imploring, wanting to know an answer that I didn't have.

_Damn chibi cheerleader._

_

* * *

_

We stood in front of a large cave.

"Where do you think it goes..?" I was simply wanting to know but Joe...

"Let's find out." His voice was full of a joking passion, eye brow raised.

"Ok!" I ran after him, allowing the darkness to engulf our bodies.  
_Damn hormones._

We got in the cave, just enough to conceal our whereabouts, when he pushed me up against the wall.

"Wait- Joe-"

"What?"

"I can't do this if you aren't being serious." I was frightened by my words. But to be honest, I didn't want to spend the rest of my life hurting for him, spending the rest of my life alone...

"Ray-" He stopped talking, lowering his head. "You're making this really hard."

"You're making me really hard!" I pushed him back and he grabbed my wrist, mid-shove, pulling me towards him.

"I can't promise anything Ray. Just give me more time." He kissed my neck and I shut my eyes tightly. It was scaring me- this relationship. It had no beginning and no end, but it wasn't a circle, wasn't fool-proof...

wasn't anything?

Or was it something?

I sighed and let hormones run their course, my hand trailing along its own path down his back all the way down to cop a feel.

(Which was very tight by the way.)

I smiled and looked down into his hair. He was about two inches shorter than me, yet liked to do all the commanding. I was gentle and he was rough. I was quiet but he was loud, grunting and giggling as he kissed.

"You are _so _the feminine figure in this relationship." I murmured, chuckling.

"Uh! No way!"

"You are."

"Are not."

"Are too."

"Would a girl be this hard, Ray?" He took my head and I reddened as he guided it down.

"JOE! Jeeze!" He laughed and I pulled my arms around his smaller frame, giving himno where to go but into my chest.

"You're such a bitch, Joe."

"Thanks much." _Total bitch. Bitch squared._

"I'm hungry." I said after a while.

"Want some-"

"STOP TALKING DIRTY DAMMIT!" I shoved him and walked outside. He trailed closely behind until he ran forward, jumping into a small lake, clothes and all. "You are so weird." I rolled my eyes but had to admit,

he looked good when he was wet.


	11. Muck on the Lake

Bare-Back Mountain

* * *

Chapter Eleven:

I can't believe I'm doing this. That's right- I'm officially following him in.

I pulled off my shirt, painfully aware that I was not nearly as ab-tacular as him. _I blame it on all the sashimi I've eaten over the years. Then again it might be the lack of sex._ He was still fully clothed so I didn't think it fair to pull off any more than my shirt and shoes as I dived in.

But the instant I was in I felt that familar tugging on my pants.

Only it wasn't me pulling them down. _Joe's hands are on my pants. And-_ "HEY!" My chibi cheerleader danced around singing, _he touched, your ass, your A-S-S-S Ass! Yeah, yeah your ass! WOO!_ I blushed a wild cranberry crimson and shot out of the water.

"What the hell is that? You've still got your- never mind." I turned an even deeper shade of red (more of happiness than embarrassment) as he flung his pants up over the side of the lake and onto the ground. _Damn that man can make a statement. _So naturally I sighed and off they went and once more drenched myself in the lake water. He swam quickly.

Very quickly.

His chest was against mine in an instant, his breathing heavy.

"Joe... seriously we've got to talk." He paused, inches away from my neck. His eyes darted up to mine before sighing and pulling away. _No don't pull away- we can talk with you right here._ I pulled him back.

"Stop giving me mixed signals!"

"Stop giving me a boner! Then we'll talk." Another sigh.

"You drive a hard bargain." He paused for a minute then laughed. "Get it? Hard! HA! And wait a minute- you're the one who wants to do the talking. So technically I can do anything and you have to make _me _talk, not the other way around." I rolled my eyes.

"I'm serious!"

"Ok ok, you be Sirius and I'll be Lupin. I myself prefer to be the adorable doggy but-"

"Joe..." My tone had a warning in it.

"Sorry. Yeah yeah... You want to know if this'll last." He pulled off his bandana which sent a huge shiver right down my spine and raked his hand through his hair. "I just- I dunno, k? I mean... we haven't even been together for 24 hours yet we're obviously crazy. Nuts in fact! Romping all over the place, no purpose what so ever- we don't even-!"

"Joe!" _And he says I ramble._

"Right sorry- I mean... sorry... I just- I didn't even know I was gay! It just sort of... I was so mad at Katie." _His fist are clenched_. _Is that really bothering him that much?_

"You didn't seem mad..."

"Well I was!" And he seemed it. His face was red, brows furrowed. "Hell I was! I mean... she fuckin' cheated on me. Right there! On you! So ... I got her back."

"_What?_" I stared blankly back, disbelief filling my face. I felt as though I was drowning. Joe was killing me. Holding me down and laughing. Katie was behind him. Laughing laughing laughing. Die homo die.

They didn't know it was far too late.

* * *

Ray's Chibi-cheerleading self: Sad chapter, huh? Ok, what happens in the next one...I think I'm going to drown myself in a bucket of ice cream... Seriously not feeling very cheerful (get it? Cheerful?) right now. But then again neither is Ray. Wait- I'm Ray's subconscious gay thoughts so technically- oh right! The next chapter! 

It's chocolate ice cream.


	12. Cooking Up a Storm

Bare-Back Mountain

* * *

Chapter Twelve: 

_Well... you did it. You got what you wanted. Back with Katie, right? Back to Earth, back to more serious matters. I was never serious. Right? _

_Or was it you?_

I pulled in a carp. No- rainbow fish? _Fuck it._ I threw it back in, not even taking the time to measure it out. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself. I was angry. Really. Really. Angry.

_Gone gone gone... die homo die. It didn't matter any way. I'd never liked any one like that before. Why did I think that all of a sudden..._

_Why did I think..._

I let the fishing rod slip between my fingers. No one would bother it there, underneath the murk of the river. No one would wonder why it's there. Just a discarded pole. I stood. The air felt different. Summer was ending, the blazing sun fading and turning its back against its season. Fall grew close with the promise of things like Moon Viewing... the harvest festival... free food...

Game over.

* * *

It was seven days later. The second day of fall. The leaves were already a rich golden color, as though they had each been dipped in honey and left to dry. I hadn't seen much of anyone. I was camping in the mountains, attempting my first ever- live alone and not mooch. _I'd be really warm right now... probably eating fish. Eve would be there. And-_ I curled up tighter under my make-shift blanket. I really was a hobo. Really was useless. _Why am I doing this? I could be right there at the bar, talking to Basil or something and eating food-_ No good to think about food though. 

I lay on my back, thinking of nothing (and doing a damn rotten job of it) and humming.

_Every time we touch, I feel the static. _

I curled up tighter, shoving the song from my mind. _How could I've been so dumb? Gay? Joe wasn't gay from the beginning. He was just... a horny bastard. _

"So stupid..." I whispered. The clouds were thickening above and the wind picked up. A chill ran through the air and small animals scurried to find safe havens. My make-shift blanket blew away. Not like I could've stopped it; it was just a pile of leaves.

"Even leaves are running away from me!" _Or maybe you're running from them? _I sat in silence for a long time. The clouds grew darker and the first pitter-patter of rain turned into a roar. "Screw this, I'm fucking cold."

Two hours later and I was curled on top of Eve's bed, donned in her pink bunny slippers and being pampered.

"I was so worried about you! Don't ever do that again, k?" I smiled, sipping hot chocolate. "Promise me, you fag!" She pointed at me as though to shoot a gun.

"What if I don't promise?" Another sip.

"BANG! Shot your heart."

"Too late for that." I replied. Her face grew sullen and I stirred the hot chocolate absentmindedly.

"Oh I'm sorry Ray..."

"No really... I'm fine. Just..." I sighed. "Stupid... that's all. Just stupid." She sunk down on the floor next to my dangling bunny-clad feet. Putting her head on my thighs, she took a deep breath.

"It's just really unfair..." Her voice sounded tight, as though she would cry. I felt worse (trust me) but Eve...

"You know... it's funny. I'm over it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Totally ok. Few days in the mountains-" I pretended to stretch. "one billion percent better." She paused as if to mull over what I'd just said, deciding whether or not I was telling the truth.

"You stink. I mean, you seriously reek."

"Bitch."

"Well you do! How many days were you up there? Never mind- I don't want to know." She took my half-empty cup from my hands.

"Hey! I was still-"

"About to take a shower. Yeah." She marched me to the bathroom and shut the door in my face. I could hear her walk downstairs. _Alone again. _But I did look horrible. Bags under my eyes, hair ruffled to the maximum... It looked like I was lost in Africa for three years with nothing to eat but spiders and- _sniff_- dung beetles.

Ew.

* * *

"You look good." Duke smiled as he cleaned an empty glass. "Well... better any way." I gave a polite smile. 

"Thanks." _I guess...?_ "You renovated! That was fast."

"Yup." Awkward pause.

"So..." I said, trying to start any conversation. _Any at all... please? _He nodded in reply. _Big help you are._ "Where's Eve?"

"Oh!" He dug around in his pocket before pulling out a small note written in deep pink lettering (sparkly too). _Could've given me that before all this small talk! _

"Thanks!" I read it quickly.  
_"Meet me in the square."_ I hesitated. _What the hell is she cooking up?_

_

* * *

_

When I came outside, the rain had stopped. The clouds were parting. As I walked, thoughts buzzed in my head.

"Hey Ray!" Eve waved me over when I finally made in to the square. "Ok now I don't know if you were afraid to talk because of my uncle or what so come on... tell me. It bothers you." My fake smile fell and I staggered slightly. _How the hell does she always know?_

"I-"

"Ray, please."

"Ok. It does. It does! It's- It's not fair Eve! Dammit! I- I really liked Joe! And he just- I can't believe he would do it! I can't believe he would just- I can't even... Evie..." She pulled me into a deep hug making small _shhh_ noises. "I'm sorry..." I grumbled miserably. "I was so stupid. I'm sorry I'm so..."

"Dramatic? Bitchy?" She laughed, pulling away. "Just kidding." _Note to self: kill her later._ I laughed back though.

"Hey- Ray? Tomorrow. Meet me at the square again. Three o'clock sharp. Ok? Promise?" She held out her gun-hand again. This time I put my hands up in surrender.

"Ok Tex, I surrender. I don't think my heart can take another bullet."


	13. My Melted Malcontent

Bare-Back Mountain

* * *

Chapter Thirteen: 

Next day- Three o'clock sharp:

My heart froze in my chest. _That bitch! I- I'm seeing things. I accidentally ate one of those funky purple mushrooms. Or- or... inhaled noxious gases. _

_I can't believe what I'm seeing._

_That two-timing-_

I leaned in to hear what they were saying.

"-listening to?"

"Huh?" He pulled out an earphone. "Sorry- what?"

"What are you listening to?"

"Everytime We Touch... it's by Cascada." He replied, offering her the misplaced earphone. She waved it away.

"That's ok. Sounds good but..." He laughed.

"Yeah I know. It's... odd right?" She nods. "Well..." He sighs. "It just reminds me of... someone." _What? WHAT? So not only was he just playing around with me but now our song- _our_ song!- was really his and some other tramp's song and while he was kissing me he was just thinking about her? Whoever this mystery bitch is she's going down!_

"Someone?" She asked but he blushed and looked down. "Sorry... never mind."

"No. It's cool." But he didn't answer the question! "So why'd you ask me to come?" His i-pod's off now. Eve leaned in.

"I know." She's inches away from his face, his own turning red.

"Um- huh? Know?" He seems to think. "What are you talking about?"

"You and Ray." Eve's hand are on Joe's shoulders. "I know." He gulps. "I just want to know what your feelings are. I won't tell Ray. I just-" She sighs. "It's just been bothering me."

"Why-? You don't like me do you? I-" He's pulling away from her in his temporary panic. _Pulling away from Eve? No guy can resist her. This is getting good- like watching a soap opera only with less people and..._

_ok it's not like watching a soap opera. _

"No! I just want to know!"

"Why? It's none of your business!"

"Oh but it is."

"Yeah? How." _Yeah. How, Eve? What the hell was she thinking...? _I could see her thinking, eyes flashing. She's a fast thinker though. Took her less than a second.

"Truth is..." _Buy your time. C'mon Eve. Truth is...? C'mon. What is it? You can't say anything. If you say "Ray's my friend" he's not going to fuckin' tell you! If you say you like him, he might lie and say he likes me just to get you away. So come on Eve. Pull out that Royal Flush. Or were you bluffing? _But Eve's who she is- the queen of hearts pulls out: "Katie's my best friend." She sighed. "I dunno... we weren't close in the beginning but now... she's so upset. You like her, right?" Joe looked to the side. _She's good._

"I- Yeah I really do. Did." He looked right into Eve's eyes. "But I like some one else." At this he slouched over, hands on his face. "I'm so bad with relationships though. I- I really messed it up. I mean- never mind. It's... confusing." _I'm going to mess up this mystery bitch SO BAD._ "Eve. Can you... can you keep a secret?" Eve simply nodded, her self-assured smile on her face. But Joe hesitated, slumping down on the bench, elbows on the back edge of it. There was a long pause.

"I think I- oh man this sounds so..." But Eve was giving her 'Go on' nod and so- "I really... it's Ray. The other person I like." _Oh my GOD I was the mystery bitch! _I mentally did a happy dance.

"Ray you can come out now." Eve said, her voice impassive. Happy dance done.

"What?" Joe looked around.

"What the hell? YOU BITCH!" I stood up from my spot in the bushes before I even realized what I had done. "Oh crap." They both stared at me. Eve had a small smile on her face and Joe simply stared, eyes locked to mine. _He's going to murder me. He's going to think- shit I'm screwed. He's going to run away and never want to see me again. He's going to-_ Eve stood, dusting off her dress. She slunk away silently, winking at me. _Nonchalant little-_

But then I heard it. Joe was laughing. He was doubled over, grabbing his sides, laughing. _The world has gone insane!_ But my grimace broke too and I smiled, enjoying the sound.

"I'm..."

"Don't-" _laugh_ "say it-" _laugh_ "Oh you looked funny! The look-" _laugh_ "on your face!"

"Ok ok!" I sighed, my smile even bigger. "But I am." His laughter subsided and he looked to the ground.

"It's not you who should be sorry. I guess I really didn't explain myself. At first... well... it was getting back at Katie. That's all I wanted to do. But then-" He shook his head. _C'mon tell me! You know you want to. You fell passionately head-over-heels madly- _"I dunno Ray." _What happened to-?_ "I just... couldn't get you out of my head that night at all and I... instead of feeling like I made a mistake, what I did with you, I felt I made a mistake ever liking Katie. Weird, huh? But... I don't know. You mess with my head, let me tell you that much." He laughed, leaning back on the bench. His eyes searched mine for a minute. "Does it make sense, all this, does it make sense to you?"

"No. And that was a terrible question. Nothing tends to make sense. That's like asking why I fish." I rolled my eyes and he stood.

"I think you and I have a lot of catching up to do." _Keep going._ "For instance..." He was right in front of me, looking up into my eyes. "I see you've taken a shower." _Mental wince. Damn her. Damn Eve- well... alright if there was one time I ever wanted to kiss her it'd be now! _My chibi cheerleader danced around, flipping his skirt up showing off gorgeous underwear with Joe's face imprinted on it, only with little hearts instead of eyes. _Go Ray! Go Ray!J-O-E-Y you ain't got no alibi! You gay! Gay, gay, gay gay! WOO!_

"...damn sexy." I whispered, looking back into his eyes. "Now... where were we?"


	14. Ringleader Ray

Bare-Back Mountain

* * *

Chapter Fourteen: 

So everything ended up perfect and Joe and I got married. We eventually adopted and lived out our days on the mountainside, growing happily old together.

The End.

And if you fell for that, Congratulations! Here's a dunce cap.

Moving on.

"So Eve, what would've been your back-up plan had I not been in the bush?" I leaned over, stirring my grape soda (why I had a spoon in it, I'll never know). She smiled.

"You were mumbling out loud like a crazy person. Happy? You must've said 'damn sexy' eight times..." _WHAT?_ She laughed. "I kid! I kid!"

"You BITCH! But seriously- what would you have done?" She shrugged, a goofy grin on her face. I stared. "How you get on in life I'll never know. So how are you and Dan?"

"Randy."

"Randy?"

"Randy."

"O...k..."

"So how are you and Joe?"

"Randy?"

"Really! So you've-"

"Not that randy."

"Ah. When are you thinking of-" She smirked.

"Oh come on! That's the last thing- Ithinkaboutitallthetimeareyouinsane?" I exhaled loudly, sitting back in my chair. "He drives me crazy! I swear, he's one big walking sexual innuendo! Half the time I don't know whether to walk away from him or molest him!"

"Hopeless." She sighed.

"Hopeless." I agreed. "So... what do I do? Or are you going to magically appear and help this situation?" She pretended to think. I knew she was pretending because blondes can't think.

I kid! I kid!

No seriously she's drawing this answer out on purpose.

"I'll... do... nothing." _Did I hear that right?_

"What? Where's the 'ooh look I'm Eve! You can come out of the closet now, Ray! You can come out of the bushes, Ray! You can come out of your clothes for Joe now Ray!' Where's that? You've been the ringleader this entire time and, and- why are you shaking your head?"

"Ray... I- I can't help you." She put her hand on my shoulder. "When you're ready, you'll know."

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT CRAP! I'M READY _NOW!_" The bell above the door resounded and a gentle wind swept through the room. In came Joe. I leaned in to Eve and hissed, "_Not ready not ready!_"

"Hey Ray. Eve." He smiled and sat across from us. "Not interrupting...?" Eve shook her head.

"Not at all! Ray and I were just talking about- ow hey!"

"You're not supposed to say 'ow' when someone nudges you!"

"And who said you could nudge me?"

"Me!"

"Uh-" We both turned our attention back to Joe. _Shit._ "What were you guys talking about?" I hesitated but Eve...

"We were talking about you of course." _How... nonchalant of her. I'll kill her!_

"Nothing bad! And not that we even were! I mean, more just little things or..." _Dead end. _"...something...?" He sighed, smiling.

"But hey, we do need to talk later." Eve pretended to stretch.

"Hey I got to clean the bar so I'll catch you later. K?" We both nodded (even though I'm pretty sure... hopefully... that she was talking to me...) but she left, pulling up her hair in her classic ponytail as she went. I gulped. _One on one... _I wanted to grab Eve's skirt and tug her back kicking and screaming.

"So... what'd you want to talk about?"

"I can't really talk right now. I'm on break so I didn't have much time but I want you to meet me on Starry Hill, k?"

"Great! What time?" _Like a date? I got a date! I got a date! _

"Um... nine o'clock sound ok? Actually six would probably be better..."

"How about seven thirty then."

"Great. Seven thirty." He stood. It was almost as though a huge wheight had been lifted from his chest. His smile was broader. But I wasn't convinced. "Wait-" I paused, trying to think about what I wanted to say. _This could either have a really negative effect or... or... Just say it!_   
"it's not..." I was looking down, my face colored by a light blush. "It's not... bad... is it...?" I heard him laugh but didn't look up yet. But then I knew it was. He hesitated, his laughter stopping. It was silent for a moment before he whispered,

"I'm not sure."

My heart sunk.


	15. Under the Moon

Bare-Back Mountain

* * *

Chapter Fifteen: 

_I'm going insane. I'm going absolutely crazy!_

"Ray... you don't look well... what'd he tell you?"

"That's the problem- he didn't tell me anything! He just told me to meet him or- I don't know Eve! Just- this is making me crazy. He said..." I paused and she leaned in, eyes filled with worry.

"He said...?"

"He said it might be bad, Eve. It might be bad."

"Wait- what might be bad? Ray! Stop talking in riddles! What did he say?"

"What time is it?"

"What? What the hell does time have to do with it? Ray you're really confusing. Take a deep breath."

"What time!"

"Seven."

"SEVEN?" I stand up and run out, the tinkling of the bell ushering me out.

* * *

I don't know what time it is when I make it to Starry Hill, but Joe's not there yet any way. I sigh and lean on the fencing surrounding the area. Maybe it's so bad he didn't want to come. Maybe this was a cruel joke. Maybe I'm just an idiot... 

"Ray?" Or maybe...

"Joe!" I straightened up, turning.

"You... you lost this?" He held out my fishing rod and I smiled.

"Yeah. Well. No. Sorta." He simply stared, handing over my fishing rod.

"O...k..."

"You wanted to talk..." _I've got be honest, I'm scared as hell. What if breaks up with me? Tells me he doesn't like guys... _

"Yeah. Here, let's sit." We both sit down, our legs hanging over the edge of the hill. I lean my face on the railings, looking over at him. He sighs, looking troubled.

"What is it?"

"Do you know what day it is?" I stared at him blankly.

"No not particularly."

"The ninth." He's blushing but I haven't got the slightest clue why. _Ok now I know I've got insane._ "It's... the Moon Viewing..."

"You asked me on a date without even letting me know it! You're horrible." But of course I'm smiling. _We're on a date. Uh huh uh huh oh yeah a DATE! Hahaha!_ "But... there's bad news... right?" He shakes his head.

"I'm- I'm not sure if it's good or bad to be honest. I don't know... don't know how you'll take it. Or..."

"Just say it." _Get this torture over with..._

"Ray-" His eyes were filled with pain but at the same time, a certain sort of clarity. It was strange, seeing him like this. He was usually so relaxed.

"Your hands are shaking..." My eyes searched his own, not finding any hints to what he was trying to tell me. Finally he pulled me against him, nuzzling my ear gently.

"I want to make love to you."

"What-!" He still held me tightly against him, my eyes wide.

"I want you..." His voice sounded strained. "I- I want to be serious. I want to be with you. I- Ray, I think..." I could hear his hesitation and, though he still held me, he shifted positions so he could look into my eyes. "I love you Ray." It was nothing more than a whisper, his face red. "I don't know why... I don't know how. I just- I do. You're always on my mind."

_Holy shit. Holy mother of god what the- when did this happen? How? I- I'M SO HAPPY!_ My chibi cheerleader hit the sky, dancing through clouds and clanging a gong. _L-O-V-E It's just Joe, him and me! _

"You-" I couldn't stop the smile creeping onto my face. "You love me?" He smiled back, nodding. "Then I love you too!" I glomped him, pushing him down onto the soft grass, arms around his neck. I heard him chuckle, arms responding as they wrapped warmly around me. It was a few minutes before we had both composed ourselves.

Naturally, I was in my own world. The words, _He loves me!_ Drifting by in thick fuzzy clouds right before my eyes.

"-sex"

"What?" I turned my attention back to him as reality came crashing back down to Earth.

"I want to have sex. With you." He said quietly. "You know how the very first time we... uh... met..." _Translation: The first time we made out._ I nodded. "...and I asked you... you know, about." Another nod. "Well... I asked because... I don't know... even though I thought it was nothing I just- I really liked you from the start I guess." _He's so nervous about all this. _

I was blushing. Badly.

"Well then... when?"

"Now."

"Huh?" He leaned over me, inches away from my face.

"Did you see the moon? It's beautiful. It's making me realize just how perfect everything is, and how much better it could be. Right now, under this moon. Under these stars. Under you. Or over. Whichever you prefer." He laughed and my blush deepened (if it were possible). _Holy shit._

I gulped and moved closer. _This is insane. This- this is... _The cheerleading part of me chimed in, its voice sing-song- _It's PERRRR-FECT! _

_"I want you too."

* * *

_

I'm such an evil author.


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